A Very Vegan Passover

Last night, we were honored to attend a vegan Passover feast, put on and led by our son and his friend, Sasha. It was not your usual Seder – it was so much better.

For one, I didn’t have to cook. And for someone who has made her fair share of Seder dinners, this was terrific. (Although I do have to confess that I threw in my Passover apron years ago, sick of cooking a multi-course meal that really only Andrew and I appreciated; Carolyn and Scott sort of tolerated it.)

For another, and even more important, we felt so, so, well, privileged to be invited to attend.  Why? Because this was our son’s night with his friends.  To be included meant everything to us – it cemented, for me, at least – the evolution of our relationship and our closeness as a family. It felt like all of us had grown up.

If you’ve raised children from infancy to adulthood, you know what I mean.  Those growing up years are filled with conflict and angst.  Children need to grow up and do what they want to do, not what you want them to do.  Parents need to grow up and accept our children and love them for who they are, not for who we thought they would be.

For us, we’ve had to do our fair share of adjusting.  Our daughter married a lovely man who is Chilean.  She’ll always live thousands of miles from us, as will our grandchildren.  Our son is gay, and in a relationship with a wonderful man.  Not exactly what we expected on either count, but life brings blessings in the most surprising ways.

In many ways, my relationship with my daughter is closer today than it was since childhood.  Our limited time together makes it all the more precious to see each other, and thanks to Skype, we talk frequently. I’ve gotten to know her Chilean family, and I get to listen to my grandson say, “Ball is allí!,” thereby motivating me to finally learn some Spanish.

And Andrew? Well, Andrew has created a rich life for himself, filled with interesting people and activities.  He values relationships, kindness and music over career, and is living true to his values.  God bless him.  Thanks to him, I’ve been introduced to people whom I never would have met, bands I never would have heard of, and places I never would have gone.

Our children have widened our universe in ways we never could have imagined.

Both Passover and Easter are celebrations of the return of life after a harsh time. Could there be a better analogy to the experience of raising children and reuniting with them as adults? I look at the lives we’ve helped to create and I smile. I am so very thankful for all that we have.


3 Responses

  1. ..what a wonderful post…How awesome, that you have allowed your children to grow into themselves and embraced who they truly are. More parents need to do that…..what a blessed family you have.


  2. thanks, Terry. My twins just turned 13 and there is more conflict in our life than there ever was between kids and parents. I had been longing for easier times and now I see they will come in the future. I know it is true but sure is nice to read your post today.

  3. Terry, what a lovely, lovely post. Especially brilliant is your advice to “… accept our children and love them for who they are, not for who we thought they would be.” A timely reminder indeed, and it applies to spouses as well!

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