Of Love and Loss

It’s the summer that went by in the blink of an eye.  It started in loss but ended in glory. I lost my mother, parted ways with two people I thought would be friends for life, said goodbye to my 15-year old cat, and struggled with deep sadness through this unusually cool season.  But it’s ending with joy – my son moving back to Los Angeles, two weeks with my daughter and 15-month old grandson, a surprise birthday party for my husband, a wedding shower for my niece and her partner, and the promise of a new grandchild this fall.

So at a time that traditionally signals the winding down of the carefree part of the year, I find myself looking forward to what happens next.

In thinking about this summer, I flipped through loads of photographs.  Pictures of my mom and dad as young parents and as grandparents.  Pictures of my sister and me as children, as teenagers and as adults with children of our own.  Pictures of my daughter and son-in-law at their wedding, on their travels, and now with a child of their own.  Pictures of my son as a child, as a performer, and as a partner. Pictures of the disastrous Thanksgiving last year, when we mixed panicked trips to the emergency room with a family gathering that pulled our far flung family together for what we hoped would be a wonderful holiday.

And then I looked at pictures from the past month and remember the look of shock on Scott’s face when he walked into the family room to find the room filled with our friends and family, including Carolyn, Lucas and JC from London, and Andrew from Seattle. I smile at the pictures of a giggling Lucas in the swimming pool, happily being tossed in the air by his dad and splashing with his mom.  I take another look at the sonogram showing our granddaughter, safely developing in her mom’s womb and waiting for her entrance in late November.

If you’re very, very lucky, out of loss grows joy. And if you’re even luckier, you have the good fortune to be able to be present in the moment and live life as it comes at you – the good and the bad, the happiness and the sadness, and yes, the love and the loss.